Question: I’ve noticed that when my connection with my faith weakens, my self-esteem seems to plummet right alongside it. It’s like I’m losing my spiritual anchor and my sense of self all at once. I want to find a way back to feeling grounded in my faith and positive about who I am. What steps can I take to reconnect with Allah and rebuild my self-esteem?
Answer: Feeling connected to your faith and positive about yourself are intertwined, however it’s important to recognise that fluctuations in eman (faith) are natural and common. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) highlighted this when he said, “Iman wears out in one’s heart, just as the dress wears out (becomes thin). Therefore, ask Allah to renew the eman in your hearts” (reported by Al-Hakim). This acknowledges that even the most devout can experience ebbs and flows in their spiritual journey.
Reinforce your bond with Allah through consistent worship, learning, and community engagement, allowing these practices to uplift your spirit and self-view. Reflect on Allah’s attributes of mercy and compassion, applying them to how you see and treat yourself. Seek counsel and companionship that encourage a healthy self-perception and a strong connection to your faith, nurturing a supportive environment for growth.
Embark on your journey of self-discovery and spiritual reconnection by reflecting on the profound Hadith Qudsi: ‘I am as My servant thinks (expects) I am.’ (Hadith Bukhari and Muslim). This Hadith emphasises the importance of positive self-perception and trust in Allah’s mercy and regard for us. Begin (Find) by nurturing thoughts that affirm your worth and align with Allah’s compassion. Let these thoughts (Love) translate into actions (Yield) that reflect self-respect and a deepened faith, encouraging you to see yourself as a valuable servant of Allah, deserving of His love and mercy. By integrating this belief into your daily life, your connection to your faith will deepen, and your self-view will transform, grounded in the dignified status that Islam bestows upon you.
Reconnecting with faith and recognise your value, reinforced by Allah’s words: ‘…So verily, with the hardship, there is relief, Verily, with the hardship, there is relief.’ (Quran 94:5-6). Amidst feelings of disconnection or self-devaluation, remind yourself that relief and understanding come through perseverance and faith. And that this is positive transformation through adversity insha’Allah. You can use the FLY Framework to give you support, begin by pinpointing areas where your connection feels weakest (Find). Engage in activities that reinforce your faith and self-worth, such as prayer, community involvement, or learning (Love). As you strengthen your spiritual practices (Yield), observe how they positively impact your self-perception, fostering a more grounded and confident you.
The GRADUAL Strategy’s “Aligned” rule can help you align your self-perception with your faith, identifying values that resonate with your spiritual beliefs. Use the “Find” aspect to explore and understand these connections, reinforcing them through “Love” by cultivating positive emotional attachments to your faith and self. Implement “Yield” actions that reinforce this alignment daily.
The SPIRIT sequence is helpful in examining your current thoughts (Proposition) about spirituality and self-value. Foster empowering thoughts to nurture positive emotions (Impression), encourage actions (Response) that strengthen your faith and self-appreciation, and enhance your overall sense of well-being (Impact).
Remember, fluctuating iman does not make you a lesser believer. It reflects your humanness. The very concern about your iman shows your faith and desire to improve it. Always turn to Allah in times of spiritual highs and lows—He is the Turner of Hearts (Muqallib al-Quloob) and the Most Merciful. Embrace this journey with patience and persistence and know that every effort to come closer to Allah does not go unnoticed.
